I've been very conflicted lately with the prospect of staying or going. Of course this is eventually, not for at least a year, but it still leaves me unable to make the decisions I need to get that place...wherever that may be.
I've made the infamous list, the pros and cons. But it balanced and none of my questions were answered. It was as simple as this: I love the summer here. I hate the winter here. It's detrimental to my sanity to live near my family and his family. I love my friends.
Situation no win. It seems like pregression. A blending of progression and regression.
I'm hoping the impending road trip will possibly lead me somewhere of contentment.
Monday, April 30, 2007
Friday, April 27, 2007
learning to fly
These last few weeks have been reviving...somehow the change in weather brought about one in myself as well. Hopefully it remains more consistent than the weather in this lake effect shit-hole. Fortunately we had a few days where the sun stayed out for almost the whole day! Can you believe it? While I was looking up into the sky and tracing cloud shapes with my mind, I swear I saw a pig fly by. On of those mornings in particular, the counterpart and I had some cereal for breakfast out on our deck and watched all the birds flitting about, chirping to each other in a language I still haven't quite figured out. Poo-tee-weet.
On another one of those mornings, Sunday, Anthony came by at the ass-crack o' dawn to get me to pose for him and one of his lovely artistic endeavors. It was a visit of the very best kind. Also, his visions sort of stirred something in me---a need, or a desire...to create again, although I'm not sure what form it will take this time. I believe I am beginning to gravitate towards photography, which will be a supreme skill to take along on the trip. By the way, that's in like, a month.
Recently, I've also had the displeasure on numerous occasions of being faced with the inevitable "What do you plan on doing after graduation?" and I, on cue, think to myself "Have a party. A cake. Presents." But instead I say, on cue, "Uh...work at Michael's?" Followed immediately by a myriad of responses, ranging from "You'll definitely need a Master's to do that." "Have you though about Grad school?" "Are you planning on moving up the corporate craft ladder?"
...followed by my response, which I dutifully scream only loud enough for myself to hear, "NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"
I just stopped thinking about school for this semester and now this!
How many years until retirement?
-----------------------------------------
How many days until vacation? 33 days!
On another one of those mornings, Sunday, Anthony came by at the ass-crack o' dawn to get me to pose for him and one of his lovely artistic endeavors. It was a visit of the very best kind. Also, his visions sort of stirred something in me---a need, or a desire...to create again, although I'm not sure what form it will take this time. I believe I am beginning to gravitate towards photography, which will be a supreme skill to take along on the trip. By the way, that's in like, a month.
Recently, I've also had the displeasure on numerous occasions of being faced with the inevitable "What do you plan on doing after graduation?" and I, on cue, think to myself "Have a party. A cake. Presents." But instead I say, on cue, "Uh...work at Michael's?" Followed immediately by a myriad of responses, ranging from "You'll definitely need a Master's to do that." "Have you though about Grad school?" "Are you planning on moving up the corporate craft ladder?"
...followed by my response, which I dutifully scream only loud enough for myself to hear, "NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"
I just stopped thinking about school for this semester and now this!
How many years until retirement?
-----------------------------------------
How many days until vacation? 33 days!
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