wake up and live now

There's no doubt I was fucking up. No one should ever drink like I was drinking. Couldn't go a minute without a thought of the drink. Of having a drink. Liquid numbness. Over the counter, no prescription needed other than that insatiable thirst, need. It was definitely I'm cryin' in my beer sort of situation.

Pandora is again playing in my ear, right now it's Bob Marley Wake up and Live.

Life is one big road with lots of signs,
So when you riding through the ruts, don't you complicate your mind:
Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy!
Don't bury your thoughts; put your vision to reality, yeah!


And continue to change everyday. That's what life is. Roll with the punches. Go with the flow. There's only so much you can control. Not drinking is just another thing I can control. The idea of today to an alcoholic means much more than "what are you doing today?" or "today I have to do this." First and foremost today is another day that we are alive and free from the bondage of alcohol. Constantly grateful and very aware of what living life means. Today.

Today is the day. Everyday is the day.

Yay for Pandora Radio. Actually a double Yay! applies here. It played Sheryl Crow, and I hated it so I gave it a thumbs-down. Pandora actually apologized to me and promised they'd never play it again! This website is the most well-mannered website I've ever came into contact with. Thumbs up.

of swell seasons, ladybugs and cat farts.

Currently I am obsessed with Strict Joy, the album, by The Swell Season, Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova of Once fame. The style of this album really reminds me of another of my favorites, The Divine Comedy by Milla Jovovich, hauntingly poetic and never failing to strike a chord somewhere deep within me. Plus The Swell Season reminds me of that swell season I spent abroad in Ireland. It feels like so long ago, and, just like yesterday.
Another one of my favorites just shuffled on the iPod...Gnarls Barkley.

Other than that, a ladybug is crawling on me right now. They are everywhere. I don't mind them though. I think it's because they have polka-dots. How could you be annoyed at something so cute? I saved one in the shower the other day from drowning and put it in my plants. Couldn't say I'd do the same thing for an ant. And definitely not a spider. But I don't generally feel comfortable being in the presence of a spider, especially in the shower. There was that one time I was washing my hair and looked up only to see a spider dangling on its web right above me...and I freaked out. Like, fell out of the shower freaked out.

I'm glad I have time for caffeine (my new addiction) before work this afternoon. And music and a blog update, cuddle time with the cats...even though one of them farted after plopping down right next to me. Gross, like a cat fart.

On that note, that's about all I got.

no thanks, I'll stick with a Shirley Temple.

I'm not sure what I really have to update with other than my walk up the stairs after work, Travis left the light on for me...and it wasn't uncomfortably cold, either. A very light rain, some stars, and contentment at this very moment and everyday for being sober. Finally, a sense of accomplishment instead of yet another failure. I broke the cycle. The interruption that saved my life, and saves my life everyday.

In-TOXIC-ated. Why put more poison into your body?

On a somewhat related note, it was very sad to see that The Chief in Grey's Anatomy went back to the drink. It clearly struck me on a personal level.

wtf?

I just find it funny (in that not-funny kind of way) that in trying to unsubscribe to a Bridal Trunk Show e-mail, I get this:


You have been unsubscribed from our newsletters and you will receive confirmation by email soon.

Wasn't that what I was trying to stop from happening in the first place?

Island in the Sun

I'm ready to use this blog for a while. Go here for the egg: http://myeggiscracked.blogspot.com

The Grass is Greener Chapter

So reading back a few pages, I see that I seem to have given up on hope. And hope is that thing that brings you back to life, the thing that appears when you're truly desperate. But here I am. In rare form, I might add. Contented.
I made it over that unending pile of crap only to realize that crap happens no matter what. And while that's all sad and dismal and all that, I'm here to tell you about my experience on the so-called 'greener' side.

Currently I am listening to great music on Pandora Radio. This is a very exciting notion. The husband and I just decided to splurge and get wireless at home. Plus, I've been hankering for some new music. What am I listening to? Aimee Mann, of course. My absolute fave always.

While we're on the topic of faves, let me just throw in there a few more of Marissa's Favorite Things...30 Rock (LIZ LEMON! Oprah voice of course!)and Grey's!
Also, I am in huge favor of Katamari Forever for the PS3, a game where you are a little fun Japanese character and have to roll around and pick up items so that your Katamari just gets bigger and bigger...and that's what she said.

I also really enjoy 65 degree weather in November. And my kitties, Prudence and Mayfield, they bring me love and happiness everyday, as does my husband. And homemade apple pies. Crockpots. Just to name a few.

Well, anyway, that's all for now.